I'm sitting in a café in France. There's lively chatter all around me. This morning I was ‚on the internet‘. How different these experiences are. Of course, pears aren't easily compared to apples, and yet we often do it. Working in an office and working from home, for example, are similar; seeking community on social networks or in a café, for example; reading in a library or researching on the internet. These are apples and pears, similar and yet categorically different. On the internet, we are...
An intense month is ending. Moving, separation, friends parting ways, the love of godchildren, new friendships, longings, waiting... I could write a screenplay about the last few weeks in Provence. Each day filled with pain, compassion, and love – collectively in various constellations. But I don't want to tell these little stories, even though Marcel Pagnol might have enjoyed them. What occupies me is the question of pain. Life is suffering, Buddhists say – very simplified. The wanting...
When the internet became publicly accessible, meaning in the mid-90s, there was the phenomenon of people putting their deepest secrets online. The anonymity, the simplicity, and the speed were alluring. The confession was quickly made, anonymity largely preserved, and perhaps there was even that little thrill that someone one knows might be reading the secrets without knowing who was behind them. These tele-confessions were cathartic. Today, it has reversed: everyone is supposed to see what you're doing, without noticing...
Today I dreamed that I was setting boundaries. I changed something in my life because I could no longer bear it. My dream provided me with an image for it that I could easily understand. Dreams have always fascinated me. I dream a lot, vividly, entire
Many communities around me are currently experiencing a stress test. The term "midlife crisis" often comes up. I find it a silly word because it suggests that life, individual life, is in crisis. This perspective disturbs me. Why should life have a crisis? It seems more like communities are being called into question. A break-out, a desire for freedom, self-fulfillment, wanting to catch up on something. This idea also disturbs me. Was the past wrong? That would be a concerning notion. How...
It was a feat of strength. Disposing of the apartment, moving with friends, storing things, reorienting oneself before a new chapter begins. Leaving behind the familiar, breaking the status quo, doing what is important and right without compromise. But that also means suffering and inflicting hurts, breaking things, and planting new ones. It's strange, though, that some friends are going through similar things. The world is different after Corona. We don't want to live like we did before anymore. Disillusioned, midlife crisis, utopian thinking, realizing wishes, one's own...
I am currently undergoing a metamorphosis. Recently, at a meeting, someone said it was a wonderful group of caterpillars. I paused. He said, yes... soon these will be butterflies. A friend once said that metamorphosis is proof of God. How else could it be explained that a butterfly emerges from a caterpillar in purely evolutionary steps? Is such a leap in complexity even conceivable evolutionarily? I am not a biologist, and this only interested me as a thought experiment. To a Christian God...
A while ago, I was talking to a friend about letting go of many ideas. I told her that, unscientifically, I visit my memories and think about why certain ideas are no longer interesting to me, that these are often ideas I engaged with during my studies. Big ideas! From Kant and Hegel, etc. She was quite taken with my story and asked if I would write it down. I said, "Why? I'm saying goodbye, after all…"
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