An a boulevard in Paris, café and bad music, sun and lots of people. So many people want to be seen. They are busy, sexy, cool, knowing, adventurous, sporty, educated, cultured or indifferent. Many want others to take notice. They see themselves as what they want to be. Perhaps they live their lives in a certain way, happy and content, or alienated and bored, outcast or privileged. That's the beauty of Paris and other big cities, that people show themselves how they want to be, how they want to be seen.
Open spaces
Of course, this also somehow reveals an alienation, a dissonance. The free spaces that we take for ourselves contrast with the - usually larger - spaces in which we are not what we want to be. This gives rise to a whole industry. You want to be different? Try it, for a price. Express your individuality by buying something very special that others haven't bought. This is capitalism and consumerism. It's common knowledge, and we all think we're above it, and of course we're not.
I find the urge to want to show off, to be noticed, to get attention, much more exciting. Why do we do that? We are probably looking for Encounterswant to greet the other - Namaste. We probably want to overcome loneliness, or at least interrupt it. We don't actually want to participate in capitalism, we want to take part in the adventure of consciousness, celebrate it with others, share it. And we want to dissolve into it - in intoxication and ecstasy, Dionysian. We want to put the logic of the system, its functioning and efficiency up for discussion. Nietzsche sends his regards, but also Bataille.
So I'm sitting in a café in Paris, my backpack packed, tonight I'm flying to Auroville. And of course I ask myself why I have to write this in a blog now. And why I have to fly to the other side of the world. Check your privilege. And why am I writing so much in the first person?
Goodbye
I seem to be serious about this. Many years ago, I told anyone who would listen that I was done with capitalism. Just as I have been saying goodbye to Christianity for even longer. But for me that meant living in the wrong place, because I didn't manage to develop a real alternative for myself. There are not many places on our planet where this is attempted. It's not enough for me (anymore) to have a critical attitude, and I also don't find it acceptable for me to collect resources within the system in order to redistribute them individually. Giving comfort is not my style either.
We have to act, it can't go on like this. It's bad for the environment, but it's also bad for us. This is so often glossed over in today's debate. It's not just about saving the planet, it's about saving ourselves. We don't just need new ideas from engineers, but also from philosophers and spiritual thinkers and seers. Perhaps we don't need new ideas at all, but could remember old ideas and think about how we can adapt them in an increasingly complex civilization. What would a world without capitalism and without colonialism and crusades look like? Why do so few people think seriously about this?
I have no idea what to expect on the next stage. On verra, we will see. Aurobindo sang about fire, it is essential for seeing. I hope that I don't emerge as a phoenix from the ashes, as the same as before. That would really be a tragedy. Rather, I want to become fire myself, to remember that we are made of molten stars.
